


The Beginning of the Universe

by Pebblish



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: But she isn't the villain either, Canonical Character Death, Crystal Gems, F/F, F/M, Feels, Gem War, Pearl would do anything for Rose, Pearl's a tragic character big time, Pink Diamond is a complex gem okay, Post-Gem War, Pre-Canon, Pre-Gem War, She has deep feelings, She is NOT the hero, The Crystal Gems are badass, The Earth is worth fighting for, The Pink Diamond Origin story, The diamonds ain't flawless, it's complicated - Freeform, the gem war
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:35:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24659224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pebblish/pseuds/Pebblish
Summary: "A diamond doesn't start out polished and shining. It once was nothing special, but with enough pressure and time, becomes spectacular." -Solange NicoleImagine, just for a second, that you are a being made of light. Strong. Beautiful. Powerful beyond imagining. But you decide to upend all that- for the love of another. For the love of life.Pink Diamond is ready to sacrifice it all to become Rose Quartz- and change the history of gemkind forever, with the great Gem War.Now see how one Diamond broke her mold- and upended history in the process.This is the telling the story of Pink Diamond's creation, her relationship with the diamonds, how she inherited the Earth, and came to the decision to leave that entire life behind to become Rose Quartz- forever.This will be an extremely ambitious project considering this story spans thousands of years, but I hope to do it justice. I want to do something unique with the storytelling, I hope you guys like it. I will try to be as close to canon as I can, and make educated guesses where necessary.This will, of course, feature the origin story of the Crystal Gems :)
Relationships: Bismuth/Pearl (Steven Universe), Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe, Pearl/Rose Quartz (Steven Universe), Rose Quartz/Greg Universe, Ruby/Sapphire (Steven Universe)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	1. The Making of A Diamond

“A diamond doesn’t start out polished and shining. It once was nothing special, but with enough pressure and time, becomes spectacular.” -Solange Nicole

Imagine, for a second, that you are a being made of light. Strong. Beautiful. Powerful beyond imagining. Imagine you claw your way out of the ground, gasping for air, the light of the surface blinding you. You had slept in the ground for billions of years- your freedom at last! The world is foreign to you, but you are not alone.

Three giant figures crouch to your level, piercing eyes sizing you up.

One reaches out her hand, and you reach out your own to meet. You feel miniscule in their presence, an insignificant spec compared to their radiant beings.

“Welcome to Homeworld, Pink Diamond.”

You cannot possibly know it yet, but you are part of the greatest empire in the universe- and you will command armies, conquer galaxies, and expand your power and radiance across the stars.

You cannot possibly know that you will throw all of that away in the blink of an eye- and upend a dynasty, thousands of years in the making.


	2. A Solitary Rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose/PD struggles with the burden of leading the gems, confides in Pearl, and makes her decision.

_“Wherever diamond exists, it carries, its worth and value with it; similarly, a visionary-figure also stays as like as that.”_

_-Ehsan Sehgal_

The clanging of swords, spears, and a single war hammer crashed against her ears. It was a sound she knew quite well- but it still made her feel like she was encased in ice- and if she had blood, she knew it would be frozen, pumping sluggishly through non-existent veins.

She swung her sword again, parrying an attack from a huge Quartz fusion in front of her. The fusion roared, the sound echoing, as it raised a terrifying battle axe, ready to bring it down and shatter her beyond reckoning.

Just as the axe came singing through the air, she raised her sword to shield herself from the blow- but it never came.

There was the sound of a single, ringing clash of a sword, and a shout- a figure, impossibly small standing in front of her, the figure taking the full force of the blow on her small saber, and deflecting it with cry.

The force left the figure on the ground, her sword broken a few feet away, and fear licked up her spine at the horrific sight, the tiny figure, with the closed eyes, as the Quartz fusion loomed over, again readying the battle axe for another devastating blow.

Rose Quartz readied her sword, and raised her shield in defiance.

She stepped lightly over the pale body of Pearl, and lunged at the Quartz fusion with deadly accuracy, and a ferocity that resounded on the battlefield.

“You can’t be so reckless. In a real battle, you would have been shattered.”

Her voice was firm, unyielding. She had to make Pearl understand that she was not helpless, and that Pearl could not throw her life away with such reckless abandon.

“My job is to protect you. That’s what I was doing. You know my skills, I’m more than capable of handling my own. I could have taken on the bloody fusion if you had just let me.”

Garnet cleared her throat, and Rose turned to face the other gems.

She sheathed her sword in the pink scabbard and clenched it in one hand.

“That was a good fight. Our strategy worked. There were some… unforeseen incidents that occurred, but none that would have cost us the battle.” She threw a pointed look at Pearl, which Pearl decidedly ignored.

“We should try again tomorrow. The room cannot handle too many more battle simulations in one day. We should all rest, and regroup. The real battle is coming.”

She turned from the group of gems sitting on the crystalline floor of the temple, some lounging about, others standing, all staring at her. She held in a sigh, and climbed the stairs out of the temple, the temple door opening instantaneously for her.

She would never get used to the look the other gems gave her- a look of reverence and admiration, one that filled her with such a wave of self-loathing that she could retch from the dread of all of these gems relying on her, trusting her implicitly, she- the queen of fools, masquerading as a rebel.

They could never know the truth, that she was simply playing make-believe, acting out against a villainous family, playing a game with all of their lives.

She was an incredible fraud.

The night air was crisp, and there were countless stars shining in the night sky. Rose sat down on the sand, the gentle crashing of the waves on the beach a solace to the war raging in her mind. She settled back, her hands sinking a little into the sand as she tilted her head towards the sky, her gaze fixing on a single star that twinkled in the distance.

Homeworld’s galaxy.

She wondered what the Diamonds were doing this very moment. Probably planning another attack, cursing her and the Crystal Gems.

She could see their faces so clearly, as if they were all sitting on the beach with her- Blue, and Yellow, and even White.

But they were miles away, millions of miles away. She was alone. Alone even among the Crystal Gems.

There was a crunch of sand behind her, and Rose turned swiftly, her hair bouncing with the movement.

Pearl stood there silently, her face lit with the twinkling of a thousand stars far above.

“Are you alright?”

Pearl extended her hand, and Rose took it immediately, pulling Pearl to sit beside her.

“I’m just… thinking.”

The words were a quiet whisper, an admission of feelings that she hadn’t even dared to speak aloud.

Pearl glanced at her sideways, her blue eyes uncertain. She was so used to the strength and courage Rose displayed, this show of vulnerability had thrown her off guard. Pearl knew something had been bothering Rose, but she would never understand the feelings Rose concealed so well, even from her.

“Thinking… about what?”

Pearl broke the silence hesitantly, still clasping Rose’s hand in her own. She gave it a gentle squeeze, trying to convey what words could not.

Rose sighed, closing her eyes briefly.

“I don’t think I can do this. This rebellion.”

She opened her eyes to stare up at the stars again, as if pleading for answers from the cosmos.

“What do you mean?” There was a twinge of alarm in Pearl’s voice, but it was mostly confusion that reflected in her face.

Rose knew Pearl could never understand the feelings she struggled with every day, of incredible incapability, self-loathing, and self-doubt.

“How can I lead these gems- these gems who believe so entirely in this cause- when I am a fraud?”

Pearl stared at her, uncertainty settling its dark wings across her face.

“You’re not a fraud. You’re a visionary- the leader of the Crystal Gems! The Quartz who broke free of the tyrannical grip of the Diamonds to carve out her own destiny.”

Pearl spoke so reverently, and Rose was reminded quite forcefully of why she didn’t confide in Pearl the depths of her true feelings.

“But none of that is true! I am not a Quartz! _You,_ of _all_ the gems should know that!”

Rose pulled her hand from Pearl’s, standing brusquely. She brushed the sand off her dress softly, staring out across the dark beach, the dips and hills of sand as it met the black water of the sea.

“I don’t want to be a visionary. I don’t want to be revered. I want-“ Her voice broke off, unsure.

What _did_ she want?

She turned slightly, looking over her shoulder, back at Pearl- the one gem she thought she could share everything with, the gem who had stood by her for thousands of years.

“I just want… to live, here on Earth. Free. And happy.”

Pearl rose, placing a small hand on Rose’s shoulder.

“I know. I just need you to know… you are not a fraud. You’re… you are the most incredible gem I’ve ever met.”

Pearl dropped her hand, and walked slowly back towards the temple, where the silhouettes of Garnet and Bismuth stood, the two gazing out across the dark sea.

Rose took one last look up at the Homeworld galaxy, before turning back towards the temple.

Garnet, Bismuth, and Pearl’s shadows stretched out across the dark sand, backlit from the light of the temple.

She would never be able to conquer her feelings of self-doubt, and the others that she hardly had names for. But she could do this one thing, for _them._

She could shoulder the burden and lead, for her family.

The sand crunched softly under her feet as she made her way back to the temple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!  
> I hope you liked this chapter, it was really fun to get into Rose's/Pink Diamond's headspace, and try to figure out what it must have been like to have the burden of leading this group of rebel gems, who you care so deeply about, when they are all risking their lives for this cause, and you happen to be a huge fraud.  
> I also think it's important to note that PD has the same feelings as Rose (obvi they are the same person) and that PD has the same problems with being revered and unquestioning adoration and worship that Rose is experiencing leading the Crystal Gems- after all, they (the Crystal Gems) almost canonize her as a saint.


	3. The First Shattering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pink Diamond is too powerful for the other Diamonds to control- and she comes to a pivotal decision about her future.  
> Meanwhile, Rose reflects on her coming battles.

_“Your rebel soul shines like a diamond pulled from dust: bright, clear and flawless.” -Jay Long_

“Pink! Stop fooling around and stand still!”

Pink Diamond stopped dancing and stared petulantly up at Blue Diamond, her hands clenching into fists.

“I was just having fun! Why are you always stopping me from enjoying anything?’

Blue Diamond set her jaw, a nasty look in her eyes.

“You are a diamond. A flawless being made of light. You are not _made_ to have fun. You are made to lead an empire!”

Blue grabbed Pink by the arm, her much larger form dwarfing the littlest diamond.

“I think it’s time you go to your room.”

Pink was seized by a vise of dread, fear alighting up her spine.

She struggled helplessly, trying to claw her way out of Blue’s impossible grip.

“Please! I haven’t done anything wrong!”  
  


Blue threw her harshly down onto the ground, the darkness of her ‘room’ all-encompassing.

“You will stay here until you understand what it means to be a Diamond.”  
  


Blue shut the door behind her, the sound ringing in her ears. She ran to the door and pounded on it furiously, hot tears spilling down her cheeks. She didn’t know if her tears were genuine, or if Blue was causing them- but truly, did it matter?

Pink eventually gave up, sliding down to sit with her back against the door, hanging her head between her knees, which she drew up to her chest.

It was always like this. The resounding silence, the darkness, with only a sliver of half-light coming from the window high above, too narrow for her to escape out of. She wondered dimly what it would be like to be a ‘normal’ gem. To be free, at least, of this crushing burden. Of the crushing pain.

She lifted her head to gaze up at the window set into the opposite wall, anger replacing the despair.

White hot anger blazed within, as if someone had struck a match to a pile of kindling that had been building for a thousand years- of course, that’s what had been building in her heart the whole time- kindling, ready for a white-hot flame to ignite and burn it all away in a fiery inferno.

They say fire is the greatest cleanser. She would just burn it all away- every one of the Diamonds, every gem in the empire, even Homeworld itself.

She jumped lightly to the window recessed in the wall, gripping the windowsill tightly, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath to steady herself.

She had done this only a few times, and only by accident. Each time had frightened the Diamonds, and resulted in her being locked away for some time.

The power was a frightening thing. But it was hers, hers alone. And she could use it to end her suffering.

She drew in a deep breath, and screamed with every fiber of her being.

And in the blink of an eye, the littlest diamond- who dreamed of freedom and a world that could allow her to live in peace- tore the world asunder.

+++

Rose Quartz woke with a start, the scream that had changed everything ringing in her ears.

Garnet was sitting a few feet away, and turned when she sat up, holding her head in her hands.

“Bad dream?” Garnet’s voice sounded very far away, before Rose blinked a few times, recovering from her all-too-familiar and all-too-vivid dream.

“You could say that.”

Garnet set her jaw at this, a look of concern flashing across her face. Rose could pick up on the subtle hints of what Garnet was truly feeling even if she couldn’t see her eyes, and she forced a small smile to set Garnet at ease.

“It’s really nothing. Just… old memories.”

Garnet hummed, clearly unconvinced.

“You’ve been having bad dreams for a while now. Maybe if you confided in someone-“

Rose stood abruptly, and Garnet broke off.

“It’s not something I want to share. It’s not something you would want me to share, either.”

She turned and made her way to the temple door, her gem already illuminated, the door opening instantaneously for her.

She looked over her shoulder at Garnet, who was standing now, staring at her intently.

“Some things are just better left secret. For the good of the rebellion. Trust me on this, Garnet.”

She stepped through the doorway into the pink room, clouds whooshing gently around her.

The door closed again, with the last sight of Garnet as it closed was one of confusion and clenched fists.

Once the door had closed, Rose walked forward slowly, thinking.

She had been having bad dreams lately. Bad memories were floating to the surface of her subconscious, ones that she had thought were long ago dealt with- effectively buried.

It wouldn’t do to dwell on the past; especially with so much awaiting in the future. She didn’t need to see the future like Garnet to know that the final battle of the rebellion was coming sooner than she had even anticipated, and she was not yet ready.

She sat down on the soft cloud floor of the room, closing her eyes. She had a plan of how to end this once and for all- the conclusion to the gem war that had been waged for thousands of years.

The room knew what she wanted, and conjured the images immediately.

She watched, jaw set and eyes focused, as the ring of a sword echoed through the room once more- and a scream followed it, along with the finite sound of a soft _poof!_

 _That’s it then._ She thought a moment more before rising to her feet, and walking over to the gem shards lying nestled in the pink clouds of the room.

Just as her dream had told her to do, she would do something that had stopped it all before.

The final shattering would come- and this time it would not be Homeworld, but herself she would shatter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO WE FINALLY SEE IT!!!  
> How Homeworld became 'shattered'. Apologies if the shattering of Homeworld doesn't fit in with canon, but this is a headcanon I've had for a while- we know Pink has a sonic scream, and I can imagine that she just couldn't handle the abuse and the neglect and just snapped.  
> I also want to point out that Rose and Pink, while the same person, are almost like a split consciousness (not sure if that makes ANY sense, but hopefully future chapters will explain what I mean). You see, Pink still has so much growing to do, whereas Rose has come to the end of that development- but I will be portraying both sides of the same coin at the same time- sort of like burning the candle from both ends, so to speak. Let's hope I just don't burn myself in the process!
> 
> One common thread between Rose and Pink that I want to make a cornerstone is the feelings of shame and self-doubt, and other, darker feelings as well. Again, she's a complicated gem!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoy this story! I am so excited for this new adventure- this is going to be like a meta-fic lol, so strap in for a wild ride! <3


End file.
